One day, and hopefully soon.  Now don’t get scared, I’m not talking about things ending in THAT way 😉
I am simply talking about all these bad things that keep happening.  I know that you have noticed my blogging has seriously dwindled, I pop up once in a while and let you know new reasons why I am away.  It has just been so much to deal with.  I have been told by many friends to quit with the excuses and post about what’s going on.  They have shown me other posts, earlier posts, where I would “blog” and nothing else.  I loved that part about me, I miss it.  At the same time I have refrained from giving details of the things we are going through because in my opinion “why would anyone want to read about someone else’s troubles right?”  At that moment I realized that
that’s what I was missing from “MY blogging”  I was missing the real reason of why I started this blog, of why I decided to go public with my blog; so I could share our adventures and troubles and how we overcame them.  So here I am, on my couch, in a dark living room, blogging from my phone.  It has come to this for me to realize my real reason for blogging 😉

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE what I do, I LOVE doing reviews, contests, BUT I believe that what I love more is being me.  Sharing with the world what I love, what I do, and how I get through things.  So I have decided that despite my feelings  about certain things being read by those who shouldn’t; I am going to speak up. spill it, and embrace it!!

Thank you to those of you who have stuck by me through so many things, who have supported me and encouraged me with love and a push.  Every single one of you who I have met online has influenced, helped, and supported me and that’s so much more than what I was getting from the biological family.  You all mean the world to me.

Now, where do I start?

(since I am on a BB I can’t add links, but they are under the May 2010 index)
I learned this week that he fell again and re-broke the same bones.

he was upset because I asked him to take 30 dollars off of the rent since he fired the poolman and I was doing the pool upkeeping; he gave us a notice to move out.  Since our lease was up we had no grounds in our defense.  I begged for him to extend our stay here since the Holidays were here, so he extended them until Jan. 15th. 
Now it’s Dec. 27th and we have still not been able to find a new place to move into.  Today the owner came by and re-affirmed his decision to have us moved out no later than the 15th of Jan.  So he was very nice in handing me a n move out notice for the 15th or I surrendeer our property.

We went to take it to another place for the smog check, hoping it was a mistake.  It failed again, and as we read the report, it says we need to fix the catalyst converter; no problem right? Only that it’s $1,200!!!  So the mechanic suggests that we do “other” things to try and get it to pass, as in:  1. do an engine flush= failed  2. do oil change=fail!  3. something else, and something else, and something else’s else!!!  7 days later without a car, during the chidren’s last week of School; which also happened to be the week my in-laws were visiting.  Our vacation together ended up being no fun at all because we were all car-less, and super stressed about the car bill.  At the end of the week the mechanic calls and says after all he has done, there is still going to be no choice but to change the catalyst converter.  WHAT?!?!? No way!!  So after a lot of reasonable talks with my Father in law, the mechanic re-tested the car and it passed.  Only $700 later!!!  There goes Christmas right?

That same week we had so many events to attend with the kids, on Monday we attended the School’s Christmas performance for the 3rd and 2nd graders.  Tuesday was the School Christmas performance for the kindergartner, and on Wednesday was the much anticipated School Christmas performance for the 5th grader.  We were excited for it because she had waited the previous 3 days for her turn in the spotlight.    Now, here’s the part where we split this story in 2. 

Back to the Wednesday of the performance:  We are sitting in the front row, right in front of the stage, all 10 of us taking up the entire row, and since my daughter’s  class was the last class of the evening, we were enjoying the rest of the classes.  Then comes my daughter and walks towards me, she tells me that she wants to go home.  When I asked her why, she said the teacher told the kids that instead of reading the entire “night before Christmas” performance, they were only going to read the first paragraph because they embarrassed her earlier in the week when they performed for the school.  I was furious.  how is she going to tell the kids they embarrassed her!?!?!  I was too upset to speak with her, so I told my husband and my Father in law (who is a Pastor) to go speak with the teacher, I needed someone reasonable, for my daughter’s sake.  They came back after a few minutes, they said they calmly spoke to the teacher and she told them that the kids didn’t know the whole thing and that she wanted to shorter version.  So my husband and FIL came back to their seats, as the principal was announcing the 2nd to the last class, my daughter runs inside the auditorium in such a hysterical cry that I was afraid she had gotten hurt.  I asked her what happened and she said the teacher was so upset that she told her “get out of my class, you’re not in the performance, get out”  I asked my daughter a few times to tell me again what the teacher said, because I was still foolishly giving her the benefit of the doubt.  I looked in my daughter’s eyes and saw the enourmous amount of hurt, so I went into “mean mom” mode.  I grabbed my daughter’s hand and walked out, as I was walking out I looked back and told my husband and my FIL what my daughter said.  I stormed out of the auditorium,  As I approach my daugher’s class, I see the teacher screaming at the entire class to make sure they stay in line and read every single line on their papers.  Witnessing the way she was screaming at the kids upset me even more, I walked up to her and in a moment of complete calmness I asked her why she had told my daughter to get out.  she immediately started screaming at me so loud, telling me that my daughter was so bad, that she wasn’t listening, and was walking around, that she hadn’t didn’t even want her performing because my daughter didn’t know any of the words to the poem.  I asked her 3 times to please not scream at me, and she continued to raise her voice.  At this point my daughter was still hysterical and screaming back that it wasn’t true.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see one of the students shaking his head in the “no” position.  I asked him “no what?”  he said that it wasn’t true, that my daughter wasn’t doing what the teacher said.  The teacher screamed at the student to “shut up!”  and i looked at her and told her to be quiet!”  Suddenly all of the class, I mean the entire class started speaking at the same time; ALL IN DEFENSE OF MY DAUGHTER!!!  they were saying that my daughter never speaks up, and that the teacher always lies.  The teacher was still screaming at the kids to shut up, at that point I couldn’t take it anymore, i grabbed my daughter’s hand and walked around 2 buildings to the auditorium.  My MIL walked out of the auditorium and asked what was going on, she said everyone could hear a woman screaming outside.  I told her it was the teacher and as I am trying to calm my daughter down the teacher walks up to us and screams at my daughter as she pushes papers onto her hand “here! you want to perform?1 then here! here are the papers! no go and get on stage!!”  I was livid!!! I looked at her and told her to get away from my daughter, she looked at me and told me “fine, I tried!”  As she leads the kids into the stage all the kids walk by and hug my daughter.  I didn’t know but my FIL had gone inside and told the principal what had happened, she walked outside as I was consoling my daughter, she told her to go perform.  my daughter said she didn’t want too, and I told the principal to please leave her alone.  I am so thankful that she didn’t listen to me, she pushed and pushed for my daughter to go and told her that she needed to prove that she could do the performance.  So my daughter agreed.  As my daughter walked on stage, you can hear a student say (loudly) “don’t worry “her name” we got our back!!”  then you hear everyone clap.    I was so emotional and full of rage that I couldn’t even go inside and see her perform.  At the end, the principal told me my daughter was in fact the only student up there who knew the entire poem without having to read the paper.  I was even more furious seeing that that was supposedly the excuse the teacher used to scream at her the first time.  That night we decided that the next day we were going to the district, my in-laws, myself and another mother who has also been fighting for the teacher to be removed from the class.  We met with the superintendent and assured that she can not be fired (union rules are apparently more important than children’s rights)  but as of the first day back from winter break my daughter will not be attending that class.

Next month, as all things that happen to me, happen in bunches, at the same time that we are supposed to move out of here, my husband has to fly to Washington DC.  We will find out once and for all when he gets out of the military.  Yep, we are going to be civilians and it’s all happening at the same time. 

On Christmas day, we hosted Dinner at our house, as we always do for Military Families.  Towards the end of the night, someone broke my laptop, our only computer we owned, the computer with which I was supposed to use for college online!!!  As I tried to keep calm as to not ruin christmas dinner for everyone I blocked my feelings out.  My kids were playing with their new “”Band Hero” they got for Christmas.  At the end of the night, after everyone left, we see that someone ripped out those wires as well and broke our new band hero!
added notes: I also fell on Dec. 10th and hurt my back, I have been to the hospital a few times for the pain, but with all that was going on, I never had the time to stay and have whatever it is fixed.  Almost a month later it’s still hard for me to stand or walk.  Hopefully after all this settles, I will finally have time to take care of myself 😉  For now, i just have to keep on truckin’ 😉

So yes, here I am, on my couch, bogging from my blackberry, with a migraine from straining my eyes and carpel tunnel LOL.  Will I regret putting all of this out there? I hope not,  Do I feel better spilling it out?  not sure yet, maybe it’s because i am just so used to hiding my emotions that I forget I’m doing it. 
So as you can see, there it is, there’s all of it.  Every single thing I am dealing with at this moment, the reasons why i have not been blogging, the things I have been trying to keep you from; all here.
Now you can go, lol.  I just couldn’t post this in episodes or I might have never finished.