What is PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)?
What has it done to MY Family?

PTSD, or Posttraumatic Stress Disorder,
is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of a life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood. Most survivors of trauma return to normal given a little time. However, some people will have stress reactions that do not go away on their own, or may even get worse over time. These individuals may develop PTSD. People who suffer from PTSD often relive the experience through nightmares and flashbacks, have difficulty sleeping, and feel detached or estranged, and these symptoms can be severe enough and last long enough to significantly impair the person’s daily life.
(piece from a full article at PTSD.ne.gov)

What is PTSD to me and to my Family?
PTSD is mean, it’s evil, it’s the thing that stole my husband, it’s the monster that took my Children’s Father away.
No, he’s not dead (thankfully), but he’s not here.
He hasn’t been here for years.

My husband was in the Navy for 14 years and has been in more than 6 Deployments, in those he did a few tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.

On his last tour, Afghanistan was supposed to have him for 8 months; but he never gave him back to us.

The man that came home that day, the man that walked into my house carrying his sea bags; dressed in full gear…

wasn’t my husband. 

As I went to hand my baby to him, so he could hold him for the first time
(without having all of those wires he had in the NICU)
;

I was afraid.  No, he wasn’t violent or scary, or anything like that; but I knew he was different.

Something about him screamed at me
“I’m NOT him!”

 

 

 

 

As time went by, I kept seeing more and more changes in him, he was easily angered, he was quick to scream for the smallest thing.
Cranky, edgy, disassociated, anti-social, moody, mood swings, nightmares…
oh! the nightmares generic valium uk were brutal!
I remember many times waking up because I had a man squeezing my throat and screaming gibberish to me, calling me names I couldn’t understand.  When I would fight him off and wake him up, or tell him the next morning; he wouldn’t believe me.

He COULDN’T believe me.
I knew what it was, I knew it and I hated it.
I tried telling him many times to please go talk to a Doctor, to please talk to his C.O, to please talk to someone; but why should he?
He said he didn’t have it, and that I should leave him alone.You see, PTSD is like cooties when you’re a kid, nobody wants it.
It’s a stigma that nobody wants.
It’s a downfall of many, the ender of things, the killer of Families, the ender of careers, the worst thing in the world…
especially to someone who has vowed to serve with their lives for this Country.
The last thing in the world they want in return…
is PTSD!As I sit here, I am heartbroken, not just for my Family, but for the thousands of Families that are going through this, for the thousands of Families that have lost loved ones because of this;
for the Service Members that have given their all for this Country and now have this burden to bear.
In the next few posts I am going to tell you more about MY story, about OUR story; and though many think it’s a big no-no to talk about this…
I NEED to talk about it.
I NEED to tell the world what it’s like.
I NEED to share what it has done to me, to us, to you; to all of us.
WE NEED to bring awareness to this illness!Our Men and Women deserve at least that. 


This post is not sponsored by anyone, I am writing this post about our lives, about our Family, about what it’s like to live with someone who has been affected by PTSD.  All statements, opinions, thoughts are my own.